Mom Life

Boy Gender Disappointment |Let’s get real!

Hello! Let’s just dive into a subject that is pretty controversial and that many women are ashamed to say out loud! I get this question all the time, and with all my pregnancies, so I thought it would be fun to chat about it for a minute.

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@jasmineamberphotography

*This may not pertain to you at ALL, but I think a lot of you will relate.*

Question: ” Were you disappointed you were having a boy when you found out your gender?” Of course this sounds like almost overstepping into boundaries and feelings that are non of their business, but hey, I am an open book! I’m not offended by this at all, because the people that ask have real concerns or are going through it themselves.

What is my answer? YES. There I said it! For a slight moment YES!! Was I also slightly bummed for a second that Liam (my first child) was a boy? YES! For a hot minute.

This is my explanation of it: I think for us as women,  we want girl babies because that is the sex we are! We relate to them, we feel them, we ARE them. We want the adorable clothes, accessories, and just a dang cute little mini of us. Maybe we want to relate to our own mother, and have the same relationship with a daughter like we had to our mothers. Or maybe the opposite. We didn’t have a good relationship with our mothers, so we want to mend that in our hearts. Maybe we want to imagine our daughter playing with Barbies and dolls like we did. Whatever it is, most/some of us would pick the gender GIRL over boy in a second if we had the choice.

So once we find out our little growing baby is a boy, after all the anticipation and almost half of your pregnancy, are you bummed?? If you are, sometimes you don’t even know why! Maybe having a boy was originally what you wanted in the first place, and you are still bummed! I chalk up all those confusing feelings to the above explanation. We are girls, hence we naturally want girls!

So back to my story. I always wanted a boy first, ALWAYS. I never had a big brother, so I longed for that for my own children. When I found out Liam was a boy, I FOR SURE had a moment of sadness. FOR REAL! Weird right? I was not expecting that. Quickly after the initial shock, I was so excited and all that dissipated. Reality sets in, and you start planning for your baby boy to arrive, and imagine his new life blending with yours. My next baby was a girl, Nora, so obviously….EXCITED!!! I almost felt like I didn’t deserve her. She’s such a doll. Now were on the third baby. We found out it was a boy, I was slightly sad again! WTH! Even though I REALLY had no preference either way this time because I had both, it happened again! I recovered within hours and got super excited for this baby boy to join our family.

I am just here to tell you, it is a real thing, so don’t fake it!

This is my advice:

  1. Be honest with yourself and accept your emotions! It’s okay to tell (people you trust) your feelings. It’s so much better to talk about them. Please do not feel ashamed if you sadness shows either. YOU ARE HUMAN! And also maybe a hormonal mess 🙂
  2. Try to work through your feelings and figure out WHY you feel this way. Maybe it is as simple as what I mentioned above.
  3. Don’t worry about the reaction of others.
  4. Don’t feel guilty.  If you do, work through it by talking to your spouse or someone you trust.
  5. Trust yourself, you will love this baby!!! If the sadness does not disappear a few days after, it will 100% be gone when you see your baby. You literally will not be able to stop the love that pours out of your soul for that little one.
  6. Know that it is NOT the baby you are disappointed in, it has nothing to do with him. This is just your dreams and fantasies that have led you to feel this way.

This post really isn’t as DEEP as I planned to go with it, but I just wanted to get the topic out there, and I want women to know this secret sadness is REAL, but it’s completely humanly normal, and will not last long ❤ I am here to chat WHENEVER!!

Having a boy was the BIGGEST BLESSING of my life. The bond we have is so special, and knowing I will be his girl forever is mind blowing. The nicknames, the clothes, the energy, the haircuts, the clothes, the mama love, I just can’t get enough!

Another cool thing to think about: This is literally window into your hubby’s/partners  childhood. How cool is that!! Think about it!!

As always, thx for reading!

Comment your thoughts below, love to hear them!!

xoxo

 

 

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